Journeys

It's another one of those days...where sometimes time seems to stand still. The slow twitch of branches on trees; a faint breeze stirring dried leaves...it's a contemplative day. For some reason I find the flight of birds to be one of the most artistic expressions on earth. The way they glide and swoop through the air; there's something moving about it. I've been sitting here for awhile now; staring out at the birch tree outside my window. I've been thinking about why so many Christians seem out of touch with the world and what's really going on with people. I think it's cause we've forgotten the beauty and importance of the journey. Our focus drifts towards bringing the people around from point A (unsaved) to point B (saved) and we ignore everything else in between. I think all that stuff in between is so important, it's the unique journey in life that everyone has. Once we start caring about that journey I think is when people change. Everyone wants someone to care. We all desperately want to feel cared about; like we aren't just one more spec on the earth.

I was watching a video on the I Am Second website and it was an interview with the old lead singer from Korn. I was amazed at his story of going from point A to point B. It was all those things in between that I think has the power to change the people around him. On this site there are so many different people with each their own unique story, their own journey. It's amazing to see how God works in people's lives in a unique way.

I've been reading "This Beautiful Mess" by Rick McKinley and he writes "Every person, no matter how battered by life, is created in the image of God. Their stories aren't just details that we have to push through so we can get them into the salvation chamber and out the other side in acceptable shape. Their journey itself is sacred." I love this idea of embracing people and their story and seeing their journey through life as something sacred. I love hearing people's stories; the way that tragedies and blessings have changed the course of their lives forever. The way that this messed up world impacts each person in a different way. I hope I can start to look at everyone around as not just another person but more as someone who has a story. Maybe if we're all more like this we won't be looked at as fake but more as the ones who really care. The people who when you're hurting and lost you can go to, to be accepted. A great community of hurting and messed up people going through life together clinging to a Savior. I think this kind of community is irresistible. A place where we don't get caught up in being right or wrong; or being better than each other. But rather a place where we can have faith like a child. Where we throw away everything and simply believe; where we go through life sharing our journeys.

Something Old

(something I wrote over the summer about my favorite thing!)

The definition of music. It is a journey. Something that can take you from the ground that gravity holds you too and take you on a flowing ride throw the clouds and every just once in awhile it takes you to the edge of heaven and lets you peak inside feeling the energy that escaped its glory. Shivers pulse your blood stream and something inside your head glows with energy and emotion. Those simple notes and tones strike chords in the deepest parts of your heart and soul.

Music explains what the world cannot. Clarity is ushered in on soft breezes and delivered to your window on raindrops.


Music understands. It relates to you and its been there before. Have you ever wished your life could be a movie? This can take you there, to that moment of perfect; to that place of tears both sad and happy. I often wonder if in heaven I’ll lay with angels in breezy meadows and the most perfect music will just flow through the air my lungs suck in. for hours and hours we’ll just lay there in perfect happiness and experience a journey nothing like here on earth. When the songs done we’ll just start running and never get tired…and then over the hilltop we’ll see it…something better than a sunset…better than a morning’s sunrise…I don’t know what it is but I know it will be there. It’ll be breathtaking, and in perfect harmony I’ll hear that perfect song again…except it’s totally new from before and that much better…and I’ll think to myself, why did I ever not want to leave earth. How could I have lived without this, how did I live through the pain and suffering of earth. How would I have lived if I knew what this feeling was like. I think God whispers to me through music, he sends me hints of what’s waiting for me, suddenly I don’t care about the pains of this world. For this I’m waiting, I’m anticipating, and I don’t ever want to forget these things.

I wanna drive for the rest of my life

Driving might be one of my most favorite past-times.  Things seem to make sense.  When you fly down that road with the nightlights racing by.  A peaceful exhilaration seems to overcome me.  My favorite songs erupt everywhere around me and all their memories flash back and forth.  This is when I dream.  It's when I feel.  It's when I'm vulnerable and really me.  Cause it's just me and the road, and the road always listens.  It takes those fears and hurts and lets you see what they really are. 

Sometimes when I drive I'll feel shivers down my spine.  I speculate it's when God reaches down from heaven and touches me.  It's when I feel the strongest connection to the Divine and it almost always seems to hit me through music.  The way those sounds pierce my thick walls and touch me in my most deep and personal areas of my heart.  No where else have I been brought to tears than when I drive.  All the while those white lines keep racing by like the beating of my heart; letting me know that life goes on. 

Then there's those turns.  They're smooth and flowing and with them the music floats around and whips back and forth.  Usually I get that smirk that few have ever seen.  I save it for the best moments of life.  Those moments when life gets real simple; and life gets a lot less about me and a lot about what's around me.  It's funny the things that God uses to speak to us through.  Music, driving, the wind, the sea, the rain.  The beat drives me and the wheels move me.  They always take me somewhere new.  I might be driving the same road over and over but it always seems to be new; because each time I learn something new about life. Something inspiring. Money, and things, and houses, and status don't matter anymore.  All that matters is driving farther and faster to get to that next moment.  To get to that next place. To hear that next note.

Something Bigger

Everyday I think about regret.  The things I wish I did...and the things I wish I didn't do.  If I don't regret, I run the risk of living my life however I feel like living it.  If I live in regret I miss out on living a free live.  So where's the balance?  I feel like my life can be so much more than it is...I feel like it could be so much more exciting and free but there's so many things that hold me back.  My complacency, my guilt, and all of the substitutes I manage to find in place of what I really need.  Regret kills our aspirations.  It holds us back because everytime we dream of something or want to strive for something regret reminds us of our mistakes.  I think freedom from regret is found in the true meaning of life.  Once we understand what life is all about and what's really important we start making the right choices.  Once we can move beyond the temporary and see a glimpse of the horizon we start living for something better than ourselves.

As soon as I stop focusing on what's happening to me, and what I don't have, and what I want; I start to see what's really happening in life.  It's the liberation from myself that sets my spirit free.  And in these moments I seem to discover a new world.  It's full of beauty, pain, and adventure.  And things start to come into focus.  I start to understand that everything has purpose and design...even the hard parts. 

I hope some day to have a boat and go sailing...on the open sea.  When I think of sailing I think of how I want my life to be.  I see myself sitting behind that wheel with no exact destination in mind but I'm going somewhere; there's no roads or stop signs or speed limits.  I'm free to say what I want and if I want to scream at the top of my lungs I can.  The waves break against the boat and spray me with a cool mist and it's exhilarating.  If my life could be like this I would be happy.  A life lived without all the restrictions of society.  A life where I could express myself the way I want to express myself.  I wouldn't feel the pressures of having a career and having all these things that just wither away in the end.  If I could have any job, I would travel the world attempting to capture the magic found in everything.  From the lightly falling snow flakes to the way the wind moves the long grass.  A life spent searching for more of the miracles given to us by the Divine.  I often dream of being Adam.  He spent 100 years searching a continent for a companion.  The whole time experiencing the wonders of nature for the first time. 

I think everyone has this inner desire.  I read an article about the wide spread depression people were experiencing after watching Avatar.  Everyone has this desire to live in a world without the corporate scars of greed.  A life spent experiencing life the way it was meant to be experienced.  A life of harmony and love.  Where we admired the fingerprint of something greater than us.  People experienced this but don't know where it comes from.  The desire to live beyond their personal desires.  The desire to believe in something, something that has the answers.  Something to pray to.  The ability to say it's not in my control.  To fight for something we love.  To take the leap.  To not fear death.  To truly believe in something bigger than us.