An Elevator

As I rode down the elevator at to end my day I was joined by a lady who seemed to almost be in tears.  Not really knowing what to say...but having to say something...I simply asked "long day at work?"  she proceeded to tell me how she had a long two weeks of work and how her husband had been waiting for an hour at the airport and she just seemed to have a sad heart.  Then like that the elevator opened and off she went.  When you read magazines or inspirational articles those conversations don't seem to go like that.  There's always this amazing, life-changing, conversation which turns the persons world around.  Yet as I sat in my car I wondered what I could've said...life is just the way it is.  Words don't change circumstances.  Too often we try and give a solution.    Yet, our solution comes from a place in our own life...a place that's so different from other people.  I realized that all she need today was for someone to listen...someone to not try and fix it...someone to just be there and know that life doesn't go the way we want.

Our hope in life doesn't come from amazing words...it comes from knowledge of something greater.  When a friend says encouraging words...its not the words that comfort us...it's the knowledge that they care, and that they are trying their hardest to understand what you're feeling.  As in tune with life and as good as life can get we all have those days where nothing fits right.  We have a heavy heart but couldn't tell anyone why.  There sometimes seems to be this sense that things aren't right here.  Sometimes all the pain in this world just spills over, somedays I can't help but simply feel sad.  Nothing is wrong with my day...it just feels like life can just never be perfect...somedays there's simply too much hurt in the world to be happy.

Do you ever listen to a song when you're feeling down and it makes you feel a little more down...and it's a good feeling?  It's like I was talking about before, if that's feeling when someone doesn't try to fix or make it better.  When you hear that song it feels like they're there too.  Like they understand.  Too often I think we throw around cliche phrases of encouragement to "make it better."  So maybe what I said in the elevator was just the right thing to say...yeah, life's hard...just keep on going.  This is a broken world, no one ever said we should always feel good about everything.  Sometimes the best remedy is to embrace what we're feeling, to understand it, and express.  That's when clarity comes.  That's when we grow.  That's when perspective comes in and life seems to get a little bit better.

Fall=flannel shirts and thinking

Fall seems to be coming and its been a long time since I last wrote much at all.  I'm writing now because its getting cold out and I finally have a laptop.  Writing in bed or in a coffee shop is always much better than sitting at a desk.  Last time I wrote I said I wouldn't write again until I have actually done something with my.  So now, what have I done!?  Summer was a busy one.  Between working, taking classes, weddings and trying to find a new job I had my moments of stress.  As my schedule has settled down I am feeling a great feeling of peace and excitement at the same time.  Some moments of my life I just don't think at all about what's in store for my future.  But moments like the past few days have had me getting excited.  I feel something coming.  Everything in life seems to be falling in place.  I'm in my last semester of school.  I have a good job that I enjoy and I've moved into a house that offers a place of rest and safety for me....but then I get to thinking....

As I sit here I'm trying to think of the highlights of my summer as far what impacted me the most.  It just all seems to be grouped into one thing...growing older.  But I guess everyone does.  Now, however, I have more of a sense than before that I am growing older.  My friends are going their own directions now and it forces me to take a look at where I want to go and who I want to be.  When we are young those questions aren't so strong.  Now I have nights of just me with myself.  It's on these nights that I ask the questions that everyone hates asking.  "What am I doing right now?" "What do I need to do differently?" and "Why am I still living this same way?"  I have found that as a stage of life comes to close I start to cherish things more.  It makes a person live differently...to be on the brink of the end to something that changed the person you were.  A simple conversation isn't taken for granted anymore.  It is an interesting point to be at.  To have everyone you are connected with around you setting courses for new places with new people...and yet I seem to still be drifting, simply taking it all in.  I get to watch and see all that they are gaining and all that they are leaving behind.  The question I keep coming back to is where do I fit in all of this?  Do I simply fade into the world to do my own thing? How much were our lives intertwined before that they might affect our tomorrows?

Destiny is an interesting thing to think about....what are you destined to do.  Who are you destined to know?  What impact are you destined to have.  Looking ahead things don't usually go our way...but looking back things usually worked out pretty good.  This I must remember day-in and day-out.  That I, in fact, do not know best.  I am always trying to take the pen and write my own story...if that actually happened it'd probably be the worst story ever...filled with tragedy and no resolve....if only my story could get written a little faster...I'm feeling rather restless these days.

I guess this is welcome to fall then...and if I know myself very well, there will be many more of these posts that don't really make sense to come in this season.  Don't worry...in a few hours I'll realize what I was really trying to say.

(Written in my favorite flannel shirt)