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If you want to know what sends shivers down my spine listen to Kolnidur by Jonsi from 2:00 on.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Thoughts On Contentment


Philippians 4:6 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

It feels like years since I last posted here; it very well might be nearing one year since I actually did post. As I look back on the biggest I have thought about, been taught about, and struggled with it is the idea of contentment. A lot of pray fervently for God’s plan for our life to be accomplished and realized in our lives. Yet, we simply don’t want to travel the path to get there. The funny thing about this, however, is that the road to “there” is the plan. The path traveled is what shapes the person we are. Through trials and joys our character begins to shape. We embark on the road towards eternity; it is not a destination, it is about continually striving to become like this Jesus. We pray to be like Jesus, yet the process rarely pans out in the manner we wish it to.

When reading through the book of Philippians we discover the story of a man named Paul who experienced quite the journey. God’s will for his life brought him to incredible lows and incredible highs. From jail, to having no home, to experiencing God move in ways we never thought possible. Paul understood what meant to live in the restful shadow of God’s presence. One of my favorite church sign posts I have seen read “Can’t sleep at night? Count your blessings.” There is incredible insight into this statement. Life is about attitude. A recent Google commercial states “The web is what you make it.” I would argue that “Life is how you look at it.”

Paul understood that attitude and perspective are key to contentment. When we remember what God has done in our lives, for our lives, the world suddenly looks different. I recall many sleepless nights where I pleaded that my not look like what it was appearing to look like. What changed? It certainly wasn’t my circumstance, it was the way I looked at my life. I realized that God has blessed me in ways I never could have managed. He has been shaping me into the man that I have pleaded with Him to shape me into. I have so many great things in life; despite all of it I can rest in the knowledge that I will always have the greatest of blessings; the never ending grace and love of my Lord Jesus. What has been done for me can never be taken away and I have been promised pure happiness…forever!

What greater peace can we rest in and find joy in than the knowledge that a place has been prepared for us. A place where unimaginable happiness exists; a place where we spend eternity in the direct presence and relationship of God. There is no greater gift. No greater source of hope. In this I find contentment. In this I find rest. The rest…that’s just details. Here’s to the inner peace only found in the knowledge and truth of the gospel. 

Monday, August 29, 2011

to be known

More than 750 millions regular users? Are you serious Facebook? What makes you so special? Why am I chronically checking it throughout the day? Why do we spend so much time and effort adding photos, posting, commenting, "liking" and everything else there is to do on this phenomenon?

Most likely, when future generations study our current culture Facebook will be a highlight of our age. When you think about it, it doesn't really make sense...or does it? Facebook creates an empty box...and the masses flock to spend hours populating it with content and updating it day after day creating one of the biggest pipelines for all things information. The concept is sometimes referred to as HTML 2.0. HTML 2.0 websites are frameworks created by web developers and users create and insert the content.

Somehow, Facebook has figured out how to get 23 hours a year from the average person for free...yes that's you. So what is driving this anomaly? I once read that society has created its culture around two things for generations and generations. 1. The desire to belong and 2. The desire to be significant. The simple fact is, Facebook hits these two things with chilling accuracy. Facebook ultimately is, an online tool for us to accomplish these two things.

Think about it, we use Facebook to publish our "stories" our lives to the masses. We send friend requests and create our "group." The acceptance of a friend request is someone saying "yes, I know you and you are part of my group." Then, we post photos and daily updates and other people "like" them and comment on them. Essentially telling us that "hey, I read that and I like it, I think your story is significant."

This concept taps into this deep desire we all have to be known. We want to scream to the world that we're different and unique. We try all the safe methods, dozens of unique shoes and clothes. The music we associate with. The way we talk. The blogs we write ;) We search high and low to find a safe way to be different...all the while staying safely within the box we call culture. Media screams at us to be "expressive"...so long as it falls within the guidelines of what is cool.

The burdens of what is acceptable and "hip" get heavier and heavier the older I get. Something inside me screams to leap into the unknown and discover who I really am and live it. I recently went to a music concert and lets just say I got really into the beats. In result I had people ask me if they could get some of my Ecstasy...I guess that's what I look like when my inhibitions are gone. I hate how society will box us up into pre-determined "people" based on how we express ourselves. When we see someone openly expressing what they feel we often attribute it to some drastic circumstance or drug.

Maybe someday I will gain the courage to say the true words on my heart and maybe someday I will learn how to tell the real story of my life...until then I'll attempt to reveal snippets in discreet corners and at dark concerts.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Blue Like Jazz Excerpt

Recently I started wondering if we could actually change the world. I mean, of course we could - we could change our buying habits, elect socially conscious representatives and that sort of thing, but I honestly don't believe we will be solving the greater human conflict with our efforts. The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain politician; the problem is the same that it has always been.

I am the problem.

I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. I hate this more than anything. This is the hardest principle within Christian spirituality for me to deal with. The problem is not out there; the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives in my chest. More than my questions about the efficacy of social action were my questions about my own motives. Do I want social justice for the oppressed, or do I just want to be known as a socially active person?

I spend 95% of my time thinking about myself anyway. I don't have to watch the evening news to see that the world is bad, I only have to look at myself. I'm not brow-beating myself here; I am only saying that true change, true life-giving, God-honoring change would have to start with the individual.

Six billion people live in this world, and I can only muster thoughts for one.

Me.

--Donald Miller "Blue Like Jazz"

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

shiver

What is it about the human experience that causes people to become so connected? We share simple words and go to some places together, yet as I write that I myself get defensive and say "well, it's more than that!" Somehow going through life next to someone connects us on a deeper level. Somehow living life connects all of humanity. I reminisce back to old relationships and to this day I can still feel the loss of broken relationships. We possess some unique and mystical ability to connect to one another in a beautiful and deep way. Life has its way of often betraying that and ripping it to pieces. Even if it's what we want and we know its right...it somehow never feels good. You always seem to feel as if that person still possess a physical piece of your heart! Some might say that's the persons fault for not guarding their heart. I think it doesn't matter -- if you ever go through some of life with a friend and you lose that it's as if they have stolen some parts of your memory and ran off.

What a fragile world we live in, filled with people scarred from past losses and scared of future ones. We tip toe around and cross our fingers in the anticipation of it happening again. It controls the way we talk, the people we see, the words we use. To what great heights I would go to avoid a lost friend, to avoid a broken heart. The disasters of the past haunt me in my daydreams and the unknowable future stares me in the face as a subtle fear takes over.

People and relationships are a precious thing. The efforts and behaviors of the world show that our desire to be loved and to love drive our every risk. Some nights I sit and watch the sky and think to myself "the pain, the joy, the sorrow, the exhilaration of all this is the best story ever." I find myself wishing for my life to be pulled from the pages of an epic fiction novel. The only this comes true is for me to jump off the edge and engage in this world around me. The only way is to embrace those hard times and set my eyes on those good times. I've spent many a dark days having forgotten what this life is all about. It's not about having a hurt free life. It's about getting hurt...and then getting healed. It's about falling down only to be surrounded by a love we never thought possible. You know that feeling? The one where suddenly a shiver is sent down your spine and you feel this warmth. It's that feeling where a sunrise just isn't a sunrise--it's like you just got dropped in that movie you've always wanted to be in. Where you say to yourself "this is life, and even though it's hard...it's good." Embrace the hard times and look to the horizon and know with confidence that something amazing is waiting there...something more beautiful and good than you could ever dream up is just down the road.

Monday, August 1, 2011

An Essay From Elbert Hubbard

Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp. Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual...Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude--the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer. To think rightly is to create. All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Yeah...I blogged about how awesome dogs are...deal with it

Man's best friend.


I dreamt about my beloved dog last night, Buddy. Is it bad that quite often I miss my buddy more than anything else? I often find myself daydreaming about the two of us hiking through trails and exploring the woods. There’s something special about being with a dog in the outdoors – free to run and roam like they were born to do. There’s always something special about the devotion of a dog to their owner. Why is it that men feel such a connection with this animal? Why is it that so many of us connect with our canine friends on such a deep level?



I often have found myself talking to my dog when we are stretched out on the couch together watching TV late into the night. He just lays there and listens…seeming to understand everything I’m saying and feeling. I say anything cause I know he won’t judge me or leave me. Please note I find these things I’m saying to be a bit ridiculous but there’s some strong truths to the way a man can connect with his dog.

We go through our days trying to feel good enough for the people around us. We try to live in the box that people expect us to live in. We sit at a desk and talk nice and act polite. Yet, when we get home and trek out into the woods with our dogs all that ends. The only thing a dog cares about is that you’re there, and that we’re going to go on an adventure together! You can drive a $1000 car or a $70,000 car; it just doesn’t matter. All that dog wants is to spend time with you. All it wants in end is the same thing I find myself wanting…to be free….to be accepted…to be loved.

Every time I go home I know that on those steps wiggling around uncontrollably in excitement will be Buddy. He doesn’t care if he looks ridiculous or foolish; he’s too excited to see me to think about that. I can’t wait for the day I can have my dog at my house and everyday we can trek out and I can be reminded what the spirit of a man is supposed to feel like. Everyday I can remember that we were made for adventure. We were made to explore and not fit in a box but to break them.

So here’s to all my canine friends that will forever be waiting at the door and forever be heading down the trails and going through life with their devoted owners. And here’s to remembering the spirit of man – here’s to taking life on as we were meant to – with devotion, with love, with a wild heart and a free heart!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

untitled

Anxiety. My most hated enemy lately. Nothing seems more crippling than anxiety to me. This thing about control, it seems to be coming out in me much more strongly. I have found myself to be tested time and time again. I have been thinking a lot about where this anxiety comes from in order to eliminate it. Luke 16 talks about this idea of how you cannot serve two masters. You can only be devoted to one. These areas that I find myself feeling anxious over, they're things I'm devoted. The whole concept of controlling my surroundings and feelings has become this idol to me. When things are ripped from my control I can't handle it because I cling to this.

You have these moments where you just wish so badly you could fly through life like it was one big adventure. Everything was exciting; the good, the bad. Why can't I look at life like this? To be able to embrace the path that was not chosen by us, but rather designed by the ultimate Creator. I think in order to embrace this we must first embrace Him. To cling to God is to let go. To let go takes away anxiety. I think I have always looked at life as an exciting adventure in theory. Yet, when things actually get "interesting" I find myself latching on to these things in my life.

The interesting thing about these obsessions I cling to is that they don't bring joy to my life. What brings joy to our lives? It's people, love, laughter. As cliche as those things sound they are true, and wherever we are in life we can find them. Maybe it takes a violent storm to make us remember this. It takes a dramatic change for us to stop taking for granted the things around us that can really bring us joy in our lives. We all have our vices that we attempt to use to bring happiness. One of mine happens to be a controlled environment. I find myself thinking that if my life was more comfortable then I would be happier. When I find myself losing my happiness I search for these things more intensely. Luckily, where I find my happiness is, in fact, out of my control.

Trusting in God can be a scary thing; but it's a beautiful. So here's to the exciting journey we've all been, thankfully, thrust into! Hopefully, someday, I will be able to sit back, enjoy the ride, and stop trying to grab the steering wheel.