What is it about wind? You always see it on commercials; there's that beautiful model with the wind wildly blowing her hair. There's those moments where we get shivers when it blows across our face in just the right way...where does this all come from? Wind is free. It has the appearance of a free form that simply travels wherever it desires. Maybe this is why we all love the feel of wind; that perfect temperature change. It seems to beckon us on to some far off new place. I remember the first time I stood and felt the pure Colorado air blow across my face; it makes the earth sing. It is a drug. The trees dance in it. What is air, now that I think about it? We can feel it, we breathe it, but we can't reach out and grab it. We can't see it. Sure there's a scientific explanation but that just doesn't suffice for me. There's some mysterious power about it. The best way to experience air, in my opinion, is on the water. That mist that whips up to cool your face. Someday I will have a boat and experience this all the time. When I worked at the cemetery I used to spray the hose into the air and let the mist whip back and I would close my eyes to imagine myself gliding across the sea. This is my place. This is what I imagine when the wind beckons my spirit to some far away place. This is my place of freedom. Rhythm and melody flow freely here. It is here that I run from everything I fear. It is here that I run from pain, and sorrow. It's in this vision that I see myself leaving behind the loneliness and struggle that meets me everyday.
I do dream a lot. As I read back on this I see how, once again, I am writing of my drifting mind. I often find it difficult to live in my reality. I find myself not satisfied with my story so far. I spend my nights drifting off to sleep dreaming of what I wish would happen in my life. I hide in my music and my dreams. When life doesn't go my way I plug in my headphones and make believe a better place. Do some people actually live out their dreams? I seem to just lay and hope that they somehow magically happen on their own. Where does the desire and courage to actually make these dreams come true come from? I hope I find it soon because these blog entries are getting rather repetitive. They always seem to be about abstract ideas and things that float around in my head like bobbing buoys. A lot of people write about things that actually happen to them. I find the things that actually happen to me to be rather boring. My challenge for myself now is to start making my life a much better story. Something has to change, and I'm not sure what it will be. But, life has a way of dragging you out of your fantasy world after awhile and facing you with a choice. The choice to take on opportunity or to continue to lay in a bed of false hopes and fake worlds. Don't get me wrong, this bed happens to be very comfortable, but after awhile, you start to get a bad case of bed sores. So, until that day of opportunity strikes, I wish you fair well, and I wish myself good luck.
(written to the tunes of Jonsi, Sky Sailing, and Armin Van Buuren)
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